You smell like stripper and shame
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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