well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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