'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
