just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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