Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Its about making memories worth repressing
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize