What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
