They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
