and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize