Pappa wants mamma naked
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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