you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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