go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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