they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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