Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
