I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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