and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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