First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
