Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
