Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
