whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?