there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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