I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
