Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
