The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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