stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
