Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
