Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
