After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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