He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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