Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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