mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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