i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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