I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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