We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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