i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Congratulations! We have a period
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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