You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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