I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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