Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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