Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
