I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
