Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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