no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
