My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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