I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
