if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
