"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He felt like a one man threesome
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
