your parents love me but you hate me
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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