when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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