I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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