This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
