I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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