I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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