I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
