I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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