"it" just moved
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
