found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
