this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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