My friends, they love my intelligence
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
